Chapter One: Grounded And Drunk
by anglerfish15
Summary: Clary is grounded, so Jace keeps her company and tells her an interesting *wink* story.
1. Chapter 1

Clary Fray sighed, she was unbelievably bored out of her mind. She sat in her room, at her drawing desk. She could think of nothing to draw and when she did think of something it came out crappy. She tapped her charcoal pencil on the blank piece of paper. She supposed it was her fault after all; she went demon hunting with Jace 2 nights ago. Her mother didn't exactly approve of her hunting period, much less when she accidently forgot to call. On top of that, when Jace walked her to her front steps his lips crashed against hers. She shivered remembering one of his hands in her hair, the other hand on her side. She remembered the light breeze at 3am and her mother and Luke opening the door. They were both in pajamas, and frankly looked pissed and tired as hell. They had practically dragged her inside and slammed the door in Jace's face.

Jocelyn and Luke were absolutely livid. Even Luke was harsh for his usual peace keeping self. It was Luke that had usually tried to cool down Jocelyn when Clary had messed up. But those days were long over. They had both stayed up all night, and were terrified that something had happened to her. She didn't pick up, Simon didn't pick up, and finally they had called the Institute. Maryse apparently talked some sense into Jocelyn saying that alerting the Clave, for teenage forgetfulness was over doing it. For that Clary was extremely grateful, but that didn't really help her with Jocelyn and Luke. They had grounded her for 2 weeks which was pretty light considering. Jocelyn had been trying not to be so strict recently, but Clary had scared the hell out of her. Clary had felt terrible, but she was now truly bored shitless. She heard a near silent creak, which she would have never been able to hear if her runes hadn't worn off yet. She whipped around, punched whoever it was swiftly in the stomach, and pulled the knife from her boot. The person wearing all black had flown back onto her bed and she pushed the knife to their throat. "Jesus Christ, Clary! By the angel, it's me! It's me!" Jace fiercely whispered. Clary, who had him straddled, quickly removed her knife. "By the angel, Jace you scared the hell out of me!" Clary whispered as loudly as she could. Jace rolled his eyes, "Well yes, I can see that! Otherwise I wouldn't be in this compromising but intriguing position." He sat up, and put his hands on her back with a cocky grin on his face. She lightly punched him in the arm. "Ouch!" Jace complained and then a thought dawned on him.

"Wait, how did you move that quickly? I mean I'm a great teacher but I didn't teach you that." Jace asked suspiciously. Clary winced; she had hoped he wouldn't bring this up. "Oh um that…yeah it was nothing, I just have the best teacher ever!" She said warily, knowing the extra flattery probably wouldn't work. She was right. He gave her a glare, and said "Clarissa Fray, goddamn it. You did it, didn't you?" She shrugged innocently, and he took her and flipped her so she was on her back and he was on top. He gently pulled up her shirt to her bra. And there under her left breast was a Rune. It looked like a nine with a curvy line through it. "Super agility?" He guessed. "More or less," She replied, shrugging her shoulders. He looked at her hungrily, and whispered into her ear. "Now, what makes you think…?" Pause, he switched to the other ear.

"…That I won't tell Jocelyn and Luke about this right now…? You know what Luke said. Plus, he also told me he might very well kill me, if I got you pregnant or I didn't prevent you from doing impulsive stupid things." She narrowed her eyes, if he wanted to play like this she could play. She pushed him down, and she crawled on top of him. "Well, then I could let it slip to Maryse that you and Alec went to Pandemonium with me and Magnus instead of going to Idris with her." She said with wide innocent eyes. His eyes widened, and he chuckled a bit. "She would no doubt kill us. But I wouldn't get to see you." She smirked and said "I didn't know Shadowhunters, or the Great Jace Lightwood got grounded." She rolled off of him and she cuddled up next to him. She threw her leg over his legs and pulled him closer. He smelled like laundry detergent and cologne which was manly and sexy to her. Jace chuckled, "We probably have it worse than you do. One time, Mom grounded me and Alec for a year for stealing 2 bottles of Peach Schnapps. I mean, we got drunk and threw up on her antique rugs but it was still pretty bad. Plus Dad made us do like, 10 more hours in the training room each week." She looked at him and mumbled "So that's why Alec doesn't drink now." Jace shook his head. "That among other things." She raised her eyebrows at him, as if to say go on. "It's a long story…" He warned. "Good, we have all night." She replied. "Ok, well do you remember when I told you I ate some faerie food? Well being drunk was a part of that…"

"Come on, Alec! It will be fun! Live a little, pussy." Jace taunted. It was two months into their grounding since the carpet incident. Jace had the brilliant idea of going to Pandemonium and having some fun. "That cute waitress from Taki's is going to be there and I think she's bringing friends!" Jace said, excitingly. "Jace no way, you always do this to me! You always get a "great" idea, blackmail me into doing it, and then we both get caught! Plus Mom said she would literally kill us if we snuck out, at all, during our punishment. She's still pissed about the ruined antique rug, and it's been two months." Alec said, accusingly. Jace scoffed and narrowed his eyes. "Alec. If you don't come with me, I will tell Isabelle exactly what happened with all of the tampons that night," Jace threatened. During the Peach Schnapps incident, Jace and Alec had taken all of their sister's tampons, painted them a glow in the dark green and strung them in her room. Jace and Alec thought they looked like little ghosts. Jace actually thought she should keep them like that.

Isabelle had assumed it was Max; they were in a fight that week, and put mud into his shoes. Poor Max, but Jace and Alec weren't quite ready to face their sister's fury on top of their punishment. Alec jumped off his bed and got right into his brother's face. Jace could be the biggest pain in the ass. "See? This is what happens! Again that was _your _idea! I just went along with it because I WAS DRUNK OFF MY ASS, BECAUSE OF YOU! AND I COULD JUST TELL ISABELLE THAT IT WASN'T ME!" Alec screeched. When Alec lost it, which was rare at best, he lost it. Jace smirked, "But that would be lying, you helped me do it. And we all know what a shitty liar you are." Alec sighed, and breathed out exasperated. Alec was a crappy liar, and he especially didn't like lying to his sister. "Come on, Alec. Tell me it wasn't fun, and I swear I will drop the whole thing right now." Jace said, pointedly. Alec rolled his eyes, it had been the first time he had been drunk, so yes it had been fun. But in the end it hadn't really been worth it. Alec didn't really know why he let Jace talk him into these things.

He told himself it was because Jace would do something dumb, he would get himself killed. But Alec always wondered if it was something else. "Ok, how are we going to sneak out? Mom still has our steles and she locked our windows." Alec said, giving up. Maryse had taken away their steles during the night and only let them have them in the training room. She didn't trust them, so she locked their windows from the outside too. But not smart enough, "Isabelle's room isn't locked. And I know for a fact she's out tonight banging some Mundie." Jace said, grinning. Alec winced; he really didn't need to know that. "Wait how do you always know what Isabelle's doing?" Alec asked, as he changed from his black sweatpants to his signature jeans and black shirt. Jace said cockily, "She doesn't know that I read her diary. She keeps it hidden in the back of her closet." Jace said, moving towards the connecting bathrooms. They went into Isabelle's room. It was its usual fairly messy, with her closet splayed out. They picked their way to the door and ventured out into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2: Jace's story

**This probably won't make as much sense if you haven't read the first chapter, so do that first! Rated T for mild swearing. **

_12 shots, and 2 clubs later _

Alec and Jace stumbled into a strangely bright Mundie store, mostly because it was filled with food. They had wandered over to the fruit section when Alec picking up a pineapple yelled "SPONGEBOB IS IN HERE! I SHALL BUY SPONGEBOB AND WE WILL BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS!" Jace laughing hysterically, screamed "WHAT THE HELL IS A SPONGEBOB?!" They both rolled to the floor, laughing so hard they cried. "I d-dunno, some Mundie thing, I read it in a magazine." Alec slurred. The intercom came on telling someone to go to aisle three. Alec got to his knees and yelled "The Angel Raziel has spoken to me! What do you want all powerful angel?!" He looked confused and looked up towards the ceiling. Then suddenly a black cloaked sparkly figure marched up to them. He had the most beautiful cat eyes Alec had ever seen. "I didn't know Children of the Nephilim got drunk. Well, what a sight." The beautiful cat man said. "I-I'm going to s-say this because I would never do it if I didn't have 6 sh-shots of vodka in me. But you have the most beautiful cat eyes…" Alec started but then he passed out. Jace giggled and Magnus Bane rushed over to him. He flicked his hand and murmured "If I don't regret this, this will be a great story to tell."

Alec and Jace woke up still drunk on a bed together. There was pounding music and there seemed to be smoke gathering outside the door. They both moaned and Jace screamed. "AHHHH! AH! AH! AH!" He was yelling in spasmodic beats. He was staring at Magnus Bane who was watching them amused. "Be quiet. Jesus, you'll scare my guests away." Magnus said, smirking. "I scare all Downworlders away, Warlock. I AM THE GREATEST SHADOWHUNTER EVER!" Jace said, his hands gesturing. Alec looked a bit hurt, so Magnus quickly said "Come join the party, you'll fit right in." And he headed out the door. Alec never realized it before but when he walked he was sort of beautiful. Alec quickly pushed the thought away, and grabbed Jace's hand and headed out the door. The theme of the party seemed to be medieval times, with kelpies dressed as hot medieval girls with long dresses and braids. Guys were wearing knight costumes, and some even had a lance or two. Mostly importantly, everyone appeared to be drunk or close to it. The hot sweaty bodies grinded on the dance floor, and as Alec looked up he appeared to be alone. Jace had gone over to hit on a faerie or two. Alec felt out of his element. Even drunk he was still a terrible dancer, and at the last two clubs he basically only drank. Alec felt like that's all he could do really, he had no interest in hitting on any girls. Luckily, Jace didn't seem to notice. Alec took a green Jell-O shot off a tray, and the glittery warlock suddenly appeared. "I'm Magnus Bane, if you didn't know. Although you probably should, I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I'm likely all over your little secret Shadowhunter watch lists." Magnus said, grinning. Alec feeling brave, sucked down the shot and said "I know. And I know I was interrupted by my sudden collapse. So, I'll repeat myself. You have the most beautiful eyes ever." Alec said, as brazen and sober as he could muster. Magnus smiled, "Well if those parents of yours ever let you date, call me. And if you remember any of this conversation of course." He winked, and looked up suddenly. "Oh shit." He said.

Alec whipped around just in time to see Jace take a huge bite out of a faerie plum. If Jace hadn't been drunk, he would have known better. They all did, faerie food was known to make humans crazy and the mixture of alcohol could not help. It took Jace about 5 seconds to go berserk. He got a crazed look in his eyes and grabbed some Downworlder's lance. He then disappeared into the bathroom where he came out a tub of glitter. "No! Not my glitter, you damn Shadowhunter!" Magnus yelled. Jace then dumped the entire thing on his head, and shot the lance into the air. "I AM THE GOD OF ALL THE LITTLE PONIES!" Jace announced to the shocked and befuddled crowd.

An hour later, Alec and Magnus were chasing Jace's naked ass down Madison Avenue. "I think... *huff*… the alcohol…*huff*... And the faerie plum… should be wearing off… *huff* in a few minutes." Magnus breathed, not used to this kind of strenuous exercise. _God, _Magnus thought _the things I do to get laid. _And he shot a glance over to Alec who appeared to be fine. Sure enough Jace slowed down and crumbled to the ground. They both caught up to him, and he stood up. They both tried not to look down too much, but eventually the temptation was too much and they both glanced down. _Hmmm, pretty impressive. _Magnus thought. _I'd hit him if not for his straightness and if I didn't want to do his brother first._ Alec thought_ Holy shit, it's huge. Is mine that big? Oh god, am I going to get a boner? How freaking embarrassing would that be? _

Jace seemed to have no problem being naked in the middle of the street at 2:32am. He caught their glances, and said "I know I'm irresistible to all genders. You can stare." And he gestured for them to come closer. "I'm good Shadowhunter. I think there is too much of you for me to handle." Magnus said, snickered. Jace suddenly noticed the antlers on his head. He pointed and said "What the hell?" "You stole them from my room, after you ate the faerie plum. Then you said something about being chased by hunters, and so he tore off your clothes and took off." Magnus explained. Alec looked at his watch, it was late they had to get home before his Mom and Dad or Isabelle realized that they were gone. "We have to go Jace. Right now, we only have a few hours before Maryse and Robert wake up." Alec said, hurriedly. It felt weird calling them his Mom and Dad in front of the mature Warlock. Magnus grinned and waved his hand. Suddenly Jace's clothes were back in their proper place. He gave Alec a little sad smile and a wave and flicked his hand again. Alec and Jace were standing directly underneath Isabelle's window. Isabelle luckily had a sturdy tree for climbing and they scurried up the tree and crashed into Isabelle once they got into the window. She too had apparently been sneaking in. They all looked and sized each other up. Isabelle's hair was messy, and her short dress was rumpled. Alec's shirt had somehow during the night got switched with Jace's. They all sprinted. Isabelle was taking off her heels and rushed to wipe off her makeup. Alec and Jace ran to the bathroom which connected into Alec's. Jace's room was down the hall so he would just have to crash in Alec's. Alec threw Jace a couple of pillows and hopped into bed.

They slept well for 3 hours but Maryse woke them up, by knocking and coming in. They both sat up groggy, trying their best to hide their hangovers. "Good morning. I guess Jace decided to sleep in here tonight?" Maryse asked, calmly. Alec and Jace both nodded. "What did you two do last night anything exciting?" Maryse questioned. They could both see she knew something. Jace spoke quickly "No, we just worked off some training hours and I was too lazy to walk to my room, so I crashed in here." Alec let out a little breath of relief. Jace had always been the better liar. "Really, Jonathon? Alexander? Nothing remotely interesting?" Maryse said, her eyes cutting right into them. She took out her phone and hit play. There was some shuffling, some weird music in the background, and then Alec's voice came on. "Isabelle? Are you there?" Alec's voice said giggling slurring each word. "If you are I hope you're having fun, because we are! We're doing shots!" Jace's voice screamed jumping up two octaves.

Then Maryse's recorded voice came on, "Jonathon and Alexander Lightwood, are you drunk?!" it screeched. "No, I do not think so dear sister. I think I am drunk." Alec's voice replied kindly. Maryse snapped the phone shut and glared at them. "That was not us. Must have been a wrong number." Jace said, quickly. Alec moaned, they were already busted, Jace was making it worse. "Really, Jonathon? If you two weren't out clubbing why do you have glitter in your hair?" Maryse said harshly. Jace opened his mouth and closed it very quickly.

On the bed, Clary was madly giggling. "That makes so much sense. What did Maryse do?" Jace rolled his eyes and said "Clarissa for your own sake please stop giggling. I might have to tickle you to death." Jace said, tickling her side. She giggled again, high pitched. "And she was of course, furious. She had Hodge make us do a 5 page report on the perils of drinking and we weren't allowed out of our rooms for another 6 months. It was not a fun time. And I don't think Alec has had a sip of alcohol since." Jace said, laughing himself. Clary went to her closet and shuffled around. Aha! She knew she had them. For 3rd grade, she was a reindeer. She walked over to him, and crowned the antlers on his head. He bowed deeply and pulled her in for a long kiss.


End file.
